A startup vibe check in comic book form, because someone needs to say it out loud.

Not every founder is a villain.
But some are one rebrand away from becoming Sinestro with a WeWork deck.

Welcome to your Green Lantern-inspired founder vibe check — where willpower, swagger, anxiety, infrastructure, and unchecked chaos all battle for control of your burn rate.

Let’s begin.

💚 Hal Jordan — The Optimist CEO

“We’re gonna change the world.”

Has five roadmaps, zero PMs, and the audacity of a TED Talk.
Willpower? Off the charts. Strategy? TBD.
He’s bold. Visionary. Probably on a yacht.

Downside: Can’t hear feedback through his own narrative arc.
Team impact: You’re always chasing a moving target. Hope you like Notion boards with 400 ideas.

💥 Guy Gardner — The Chaos Bro

“I built this in 3 days on Adderall and vibes.”

Yells “WAGMI” in meetings. Tried to mint a DAO in a bar bathroom.
Pitch deck is a war crime. Hair gel budget exceeds legal limits.

Downside: Rage. Swagger. Delusion.
Team impact: You’re trauma-bonded with your ops lead and haven’t slept since Testnet.

👀 John Stewart — The Grown-Up

“Let’s talk infrastructure.”

Actually hired compliance. Has budgets. People trust him.
Engineering brain. Quiet power.

Downside: No one listens until something breaks.
Team impact: The grown-up energy you didn’t know you needed until the money was gone and the lawyers were calling.

✨ Jessica Cruz — The Overthinker

“This isn’t ready. I’m not ready. Are we sure?”

Built the most elegant dApp you’ve never seen. Still won’t launch.
Lives in Figma. Obsessed with onboarding flows. Apologizes too much.

Downside: Imposter syndrome as a service.
Team impact: You want her to ship. She wants to fix the entire UX of the internet first.

😈 Sinestro — The Pitch Villain

“I used to be a VC.”

Backed every rugpull of 2021.
Rebranding as a decentralized trust layer. Again.

Harvard MBA energy. Thinks storytelling is for weak minds. Uses ChatGPT wrong.

Downside: He is the red flag.
Team impact: You’ve been gaslit into thinking "tokenomics" is a real word.

🟢 So… who’s flying your ship?

If you’re lucky, you’ve got a John Stewart holding the line while Hal monologues, Jessica overthinks, and Guy tries to install Web3 on a toaster.

If you’re unlucky? You’re Wash.

You didn’t ask to be here. You were promised adventure.
Instead, you're holding the chaos together with duct tape, vibes, and tiny stegosauruses.

Final Thought:

Every founder thinks they’re Hal.
Every team knows when it’s really Guy.
And every operator eventually turns into Wash — burned out, brilliant, and holding the last working piece of the engine.

🟢💥👀✨

Know your Lantern. Protect your Wash.
And for the love of onboarding… let Jessica ship.

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